Changes.

I could work with college students the rest of my life.



I love doing what I do.
I love Monday nights, I love Sunday mornings, I love home group nights, I love Saturdays at Forsyth Park.
I love having our pantry raided by hungry college students.
I love seeing young adults make their own decisions.
I love Wii Parties.
I love seeing faith lead to action.


I have learned, lately, that I love being where I am supposed to be. I love being WHO I am supposed to be.
For much of my adult life, I was neither.

As of today, September 1, being where I am supposed to be will change. I am no longer the College Pastor at Bible Baptist Church.

I am now the "Student Pastor." I will work with Middle and High School students.
I feel a bit like Jessie Spano on that Saved By The Bell episode (minus the sleeping pills):
"I'm so excited
I'm so excited
I'm so.....scared!"

Ok, I am really not scared. Ministry, to me is not a series of stepping stones leading to some ultimate goal. It is not about filling my resume for future jobs. Ministry is about the present, the here and now.

Meredith and I do not totally understand what God is up to, but we rarely do, and it rarely helps to know it. We just know we can trust Him. After all, over 4 years ago, I moved to Savannah to teach math, physics and Bible and coach volleyball and baseball. That did not make sense, necessarily, but those two years have started to make a pretty important piece of the puzzle of my life.

College students and young adults: we are so thankful that God allowed us to serve you for over 3 years. We are blown away at what He has done in us because of you all. We are so stoked to see what God does through Travis' leadership. Thank you for trusting us and for allowing God to work in you.

High School and Middle School students: we are so excited for this opportunity. We look forward to learning from you and being changed by God through you. Please trust that we will continually follow what God lays before us and we ask that you follow us and journey alongside us. We are in this together.

Peace.

healthy

Wednesday
May 13, 2009
7:00 PM

My world changed.

"It doesn't matter, just as long as he is healthy."

Since we announced to our world that Meredith was pregnant with our first child last fall, we got asked the question, "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Almost as a reaction, our response for a short while was, "It doesn't matter, just as long as he is healthy."
It was a natural response.
We actually meant it.

But not too long after beind inundated with that question, I remembered one of my best friend's in the world, Paul Huneycutt. He and I roomed together with 2 other guys in college. Those three guys shaped my life, my perspectives, my heart as much as anyone in this world.

Paul was the kind of guy who would do anything to encourage you...even if you were the one who discouraged him.

The week before Paul's wedding, I literally hit him with his own car breaking his leg in a couple of places and putting him in a full-leg cast for his wedding day (and his wedding night). My stomach is in knots even now thinking about that moment.

Paul forgave me.
More than that, he restored me.
He didn't just accept my apology, he told me there must be some greater purpose for it happening.
Then he hobbled his way down the aisle, and said "I do" while sitting on a stool...

Not too long after that, Paul and his wife Lorie found out they were going to be parents.

Not too long after that, Lorie went into labor much too early and gave birth to a beautiful, tiny baby girl named Rylie. Rylie was treated for weeks at the hospital and Paul and Lorie were told she had a complication that would keep her in a wheel chair. She has cerebral palsy.

I remember visiting them in the hospital, with tears in my eyes watching Paul let little Rylie wrap her teeny tiny hands half-way around his pinky. I remember begging God for Rylie to make it.

I remember being amazed with Paul as he said:
"There has to be some greater purpose for this happening."

Paul and Lorie live in Wyoming where Paul is a youth pastor. Rylie is one of the greatest joys in Paul's life. You should see his face light up when he talks about her. When he talks of how she has changed him and made him a better person, a better father, a better husband, a better friend, a better Paul.

I thought of Paul and I realized that I really wanted Colten to be healthy...but if there was something that could only be accomplished through him being "unhealthy" I wanted that more.

The night before Meredith and I went to the hospital for her to be induced, we prayed that God would allow us to be changed by Colten, that He would do whatever He needed to do to change lives, regardless of our comfort. We prayed that God would use Colten to teach and change us first, so that we could be used to do the same for others.

At 7:00 PM on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 Colten James Gardner was born.
"Healthy."
We are so thankful and humbled.

But our prayers haven't changed....because Paul, Lorie and Rylie changed them already.

anticipation

Apparently Easter is upon us.

Funny how this MASSIVE celebration can just sneak up on you. We have grown pretty lazy when it comes to Easter. Christmas is easy to look forward to and to celebrate, not to mention the fact that we don't have to promote Christmas at all, every department store and mall already does it for us. Well, we complain about how they do it, but we certainly aren't upset when people come to our Christmas Eve services, right? We do Advent services and in many cases dedicate a whole month to prepare for Christmas.

Easter, though...oh, Easter. We casually wake up one morning to realize that Easter is upon us and we have done little to prepare. It is not all our fault, though. The Easter section in Target is much smaller than the displays they use for Christmas. Not to mention the fact that it is crammed in the back corner and there is no Easter music being played over the sound system. Oh, how different it would be if we could somehow create a catchy jingle with the words of Amazing Grace. Then we could be in the "Easter Spirit!"

And don't even get us started about the mall! No Easter decorations except that creepy rabbit? The one that makes all the kids scream? Sure, white linen dresses and gray suits go on sale a week before Easter Sunday, but how are we to notice without the music and the radio contests? And what about the lack of TV commercials? Like the Cadbury bunny and Reese's peanut butter eggs are enough? How do they expect us to anticipate Easter without commercials about baskets and dyed eggs and pink ties!?

Again, we have become quite lazy. We no longer anticipate Easter because we no longer know how to. Without extreme marketing and catchy jingles, we have lost our ability to recognize significance in anything. Somehow, the pursuit of relevance has taken the place of our pursuit for God. So much so that we only pursue what others tell us to pursue. If we see enough of it on TV, or hear enough of it on the radio, it becomes important...

significant...
meaningful...
desireable...
worth anticipating.

The old Christian practice of Lent has been mocked by many in recent times. I wonder if they were actually on to something.

40 full days of anticipation.
40 days of remembering.
40 days of meaning.
40 days of longning.

We have become lazy. May that never be said of us again.

May we value that which is important. May we anticiapte the Empty Tomb.

entertain

Success is abstract.
It is relative.
It is conditional.

For the entertainment business, success is largely based on sheer numbers.
How many records are sold.
How many tickets are sold.
How many viewers on any given night.

Often, true entertainment success comes in the for of returnees.
The number of people who watch the show weekly.
The number of people who come back when the band tours again.
The number of people who purchase the 2nd or 3rd album.

In turn, the corporations and companies in charge do what it takes to get more people to buy into what they are doing. In order to be successful as an entertainer, one must "give the people what they want." One must "keep them coming back for more."

Over time, the passion and love for the art (music, acting, playing) or the sport gives way to the passion for more followers. Slowly, the focus moves from love and passion to "success." Before you know it, there are new artists, new performers, new entertainers. The difference is that these newcomers have skipped the passion for the art or sport and are solely focused on the "success"
the money
the fame
the accolades
the recognition.

Many churches have become institutions for entertainment.
The pastors probably started the church based on on deep love for Jesus and to see the Kingdom come. But, over time, it became less about the message of hope and love and Jesus and more about how many, how many, how many...

how many came to church?
how many came to small group or sunday school?
how many gave financially?
how many brought friends?

Naturally, we recognize that to get people to come, you need to give them what they want. That is how N-Sync did it. That is how the Super Bowl does it. That is how American Idol does it. That is how Stephen Spielberg does it.

So, churches focus on what the people want. Because to be successful, you have to meet their wants. And if you have to choose, opt for what makes the most people happy. Opt for the what will please the most people.

So, we have loud music (because that is what the larger demographic wants)...
we have shorter messages (because that is what they asked for)...
we use a lot of video clips (because they have to be entertained)...
Each week becomes less and less about the message and more about the method.

Then we realize we have no time or resources to develop and train new followers of Jesus. We have even fewer resources to help our community who is in need.

We spent it all (time, money, people) on making sure we pleased everyone with our show.
Because after all...we have to get them in the doors, right?
I mean, Jesus used miracles and feedings to get them to follow Him, right?
(Which makes perfect sense why Jesus would end many miracles by saying "Don't tell anyone about this.")

Please do not misunderstand me. The church should lead the way in excellence. If we are not going to do it well, we are not doing it to the glory of God and we are better off not doing it.
I love good music. I think it should be in the church. The church should lead the way in the arts.
I love video clips. Many of them aid in the understanding and application of truth.

It breaks my heart to see the church sell out just so they can have sell-outs and standing room only.
It breaks my heart to see churches work so hard to verbally share the message of salvation, only to have nothing place to help someone walk through life with the gift.
It breaks my heart to see so many churches entertaining rather than equipping and encouraging.

learning

Here are some things I have been thinking about recently...

+ I wish I would have paid more attention in college.

+ Stepping stones never help the present.

+ I miss playing baseball...but my shoulder doesn't.

+ There is a human growing inside of Meredith's stomach...sometimes that is weird.

+ Churches should be less focused on church and more on Jesus.

+ I never want comfort to interfere with an abundant life.

+ I am really excited to be a dad.

+ Meredith is too good for me.

+ I miss my friends.

+ I need to be challenged...continually.

+ Tim Tebow.

+ There is nothing quite like peace.

+ Love must be the beginning and the end of all things.

+What are you learning?+

better

there are people who have always motivated and challenged me.
some have done so athletically, others socially, many scholastically...but few have challenged me holistically.

one of the few is a friend of mine named james rowell.

do yourself a favor and read everything he has here.

restore

old becomes new.

it is a fascinating thing when what was once old and forgotten is found and made new. for some, it is exhilarating...the thrill of the discovery and the hope from its restoration.

i am exhilarated.

sometimes, it takes the ancient history of the past to make you new again.
i guess what i am learning is that being "new" is not necessarily a method of reinvention, but rather a re-discovery of what was old.

old, simple truths.
old, simple memories.
old, simple observations.
old, simple context...somehow realized in the new, chaotic life.

peace.

peace: puzzle

Every Thanksgiving and Christmas growing up we had a puzzle. I guess I have always been pretty analytical because for as long as I can remember, I have loved puzzles. I am not sure what it is about them.
Maybe it is the fact that it keeps me busy for a while.
Maybe it is the the frustration of it all.
Maybe it is the beautiful pictures of wagons and snowfalls and pumpkins...surely that is not it.

Maybe it is seeing chaos turn to something beautiful.

The Greek word for "anxious" finds its root in a word that means "to divide or separate into parts."
It makes perfect sense.

Those times that we get stressed out about the future,
the times we get nervous about paying bills,
the days we worry about our health or the health of a loved one,
the moments we fret about the job we are unhappy with,
the seconds we spend thinking about why he or she left...

we have separated life into parts.

I have learned over the past few years that somehow everything is connected. No moment or circumstance can stand alone. The more I am aware of that fact, the truer it is. Something had to happen to allow another something to happen and so on.

My life is a testament to that truth.

But there are moments when the connection between the past and the present and the future is cloudy at best.
I love puzzles.
So, I try to figure it all out. I want to know how yesterday led me to today. I want to know what the combination of the two means for my future.
But more often than not, the pieces do not quite fit.

So, I stare at the pieces...
focusing on them...
concentrating on them...
distracted from everything else...
distracted from the present...
distracted from the puzzle.

That is when I get anxious.
When I make life about the pieces and less about the picture in the puzzle.
When I am distracted from the the truth.

That is when I lack peace.

Just as "anxious" finds its root to mean "separate into parts",
"peace" finds its root in "to join".

We are all searching for peace. We want purpose and meaning to our lives. We want to know we are where we need to be. We want to feel the serenity and calm.

We want it all to join together.

Peace, though, does not come from trying to make it all fit.
Peace comes from knowing that it DOES fit.

Peace is not seeing the pieces of the puzzle, but seeing the puzzle in the pieces.
Peace is accepting that while today may not fit with your yesterday or your tomorrow, it fits in the big puzzle of life.
What if we lived life with this awareness? How would it change your perspective on your seconds? On your moments?

Peace came on Christmas day thousands of years ago.
Because when He came, it made it all fit together.

Peace be with you.
True peace.

joy: invest

Shepherds? Really?
That was the plan all along?

Ever think that there had to be a better way to let the world know about the birth of Jesus? I understand the fact that a massive text message would be highly impersonal and technologically impossible at that time, but there had to be some other way.

Shepherds were famous (or should i say INfamous) for their storytelling. Their stories were, at the very best, embellishments of the truth. It reached the point that a shepherd's testimony, even an eye witness account, was not admissable in a court of law.

And God chose them.
To share the good news.
To announce to the world that Peace had come.

While the shepherds were not highly valued by society, they played an important role in the economic and spiritual culture of their town of Bethlehem.

They raised the sheep that were sold for sacrifices.
They raised sacrificial lambs.
They "kept watch over their flocks".

As they are guarding the sheep, angels tell them that they have glad tidings of great joy...for all people. The angels have a message, they have the good news of great joy...and they tell the shepherds first.

Because the shepherds have already invested.

See, the shepherds know about sacrifice. They lay down their lives for their sheep. In this case, they would raise a lamb until it was fully grown and acceptable for sacrifice. They fed, protected, cleaned, led these sheep for years...only to sell them to die.

And we wonder why God chose the shepherds.
If anyone understood it...
if anyone "got it"...
if anyone invested...
it was them.

Because of their investment, they understood joy.
Because of their joy, they wanted to tell the world.

But their joy would not come without knowing what it is to sacrifice.

Many of us go through life never really knowing joy. We grow bitter when things don't go our way. We get bored when it is not how we want it. We start to call things mundane and irrelevant. We may be physically present but soulfully absent.

Because we have never known joy...
because we have never invested.

We think joy is found in victory.
I would say true joy is found in sacrifice...in investment.

That is why He chose shepherds. They had invested. They had sacrificed.

Therefore, they knew joy.

love: participate

this summer, meredith and i had a chance to go to a major league baseball game. it was the final game of a three game series between two division rivals who were both in contention for first place.

let's just say it got heated at times.

at different times throughout the game, a ground swell of noise would make its way through the domed stadium. it would happen and then people would stand.

like we were pavlov's dogs and the bell had rung.

there were certainly good reasons for this outburst of emotion and fist pumps:
a full count, 2 strikes with the tying run at second base, the final out of the game...

but as i looked around the stadium, everyone was not standing. people were actually sitting down. intense moments in baseball lore were happening and they sat through them. the moment was happening whether they stood or not, but

they missed the depth of the experience because they refused to participate in it.

i actually heard some "sitters" telling the "standers" in front of them to sit down because they couldn't see.
they were offended and even grew bitter because other people were excited and participating in what was happening.

because that is what happens when we sit...

we get offended.
we get bitter.

we think we are experiencing all there is, but the truth is we are not even close.
we may be in the stadium, but we are certainly not experiencing the game.
we may even experience part of it, but when it gets really intense, our comfort is more important.

it happens at concerts, too.
and theme parks.
and churches.
and in love.

the experience is the fullest when we participate.

hope: what-is

this year, Christmas is exactly four weeks from Thanksgiving Day. 28 days.

28 days to get your tree up and decorated. (unless it has already been up for a month)
28 days to put those moving fake deer in your front yard.
28 days to finish crocheting your stocking.
28 days to figure out how to thank your aunt for that sweater....again.
28 days to memorize every line of Elf or A Christmas Story.
28 days to shop.
28 days to worry about if he will like what you got him or wondering if she is even worth that much money.
28 days.

four weeks.

the "anticipation" in the air at this time of year is quite noticable....maybe "anxiety" is really more appropriate.
what would it take to get back to a spirit of anticipation and excitement?
what will it take to put things in perspective?

advent.
it is a latin word which means arrival.
it is an old tradition which is built upon the expectation of a coming Messiah..
the restoration of all things.
it is a period of...

four weeks.

each week has a different focus or theme:
hope
love
joy
peace.

this week, the first of four weeks, the theme is hope.

we, often, do not anticipate well because we do not hope well. we are anxious, nervous, dreadful perhaps because we have a lack or a misconception of hope. we miss the glory of the buildup, of the tension, because of that same lack or misconception of hope.

we view hope as something that comes from the outside of our circumstance.
from beyond the here and now.
from the what-could-be.

maybe hope actually springs up from the inside of our circumstance.
from the actual here and now.
from the what-is.

we want to be rescued from a situation and we, therefore, view hope as the expectation of that evacuation. we want hope to sweep in and save the day. what if hope actually saves the day from the midst of the storm rather than as a wind from beyond it?

the Jews for generations looked for a Messiah, Hope, to come in and save the day. they wanted Hope to be a source of political strength, an overthrow of the Roman government. others wanted Hope to cleanse the world of its unrighteousness through the destruction of all that was unrighteous. they all wanted Hope to come from the outside. they looked for Hope to come radiantly from beyond the mess.

but Hope came from within.

Hope was born into a family with a geneology that included great leaders and faithful men and women.
Hope was born into a family with a geneology that included prostitutes and liars and outcasts.

Hope was born into the world as the child of a pure woman.
Hope was born into the world as the child of an unwed mother.

Hope was born into the world as the child of a just man.
Hope was born into the world as the child of a man who wanted to do good, but could not figure out what good was in the midst of a bad situation.
Hope was born into the world as the child of a man who thought the answer was in a quiet divorce.

Hope was born in a stable.
Hope was placed in a feeding trough to sleep.
Hope was rejected because it was too late for a room.

Hope was proclaimed by many men and women and children.
Hope was proclaimed by these men and women and children who were known as liars and storytellers.
Hope was proclaimed by people whose testimonies were inadmissable in a court of law.

Hope came from within.
from within the messiness of relationships.
from within the struggle to do right.
from within the busyness.
from within the dirt and filth.

Hope has come.
not like we wanted it to come.

but like we needed it to come.

simple

we have such an innate ability to make life so much more complicated than it was ever intended to be. i suppose that is how we have always been.

there was that whole incident with the fruit and the snake in the tree.

there is something within us that has a hard time dealing with simplicity. it is almost as if simplicity is more threatening than complexity. simplicity scares us.

simplicity requires commitment.
complexity leaves excuses for infidelity.

while simplicity can move us to explore the deepest parts of the ocean at a pace that allows us to take in its beauty, complexity can get us swimming at a record pace only to find we could have stood up and just walked.

somehow, we have deceived ourselves into thinking the more complex the equation, the deeper our understanding. i have found, though, that the most simple equations have the surprising ability to keep showing up in our everyday lives.

simplicity will develop depth while complexity will keep you shallow.

we often determine that a church is deep in its message by the number of programs they have going on. we determine the depth of a person's relationship with Christ based on the number of verses they have memorized or the number of Bible studies they attend.

truth is a multitude of programs actually distract from the mission.
truth is memorizing verses and attending Bible studies actually keep us from committing to any one thing.

the greatest threat to your depth is not another deep commitment, it is the multitude of shallow ones.

when we are deeply committed to the simplicity of the One thing, everything else is affected.
it is not that our commitment to the One thing eliminates commitments to everything else,
it is that everything else somehow finds itself committed to the One thing, as well.

maybe it is time we get back to the simplicity of loving God and loving others.
maybe when we do that we will find ourselves in deeper than we ever imagined.
maybe we just need to make it
...
simple.

hiatus

yes, it has been a while. for the two or three of you who read my blog, i am sorry it has been so long.
...

i will be blogging more regularly, now...for the two or three of you who read this.

peace.

remedy

i watched the presidential debate last night. i am impressed by how much knowledge the two men have. it is particularly impressive how they know so much about so many topics. i guess when you are passionate about something, learning is not an obstacle.

one of them made a statement that i think applies to where our generation finds themselves.

the two candidates were debating the war in iraq and one of the men said that the next president of the united states would not have to decide whether or not to go into iraq, but decide how to remedy the situation.

it seems like a simple idea and one that really would not require much thought.
it is true.
our troops are already in iraq. we have already gone in.

i think many times, we can find ourselves in a similar place in regards to the church.
our generation, and others, are quick to judge what has happened. they are quick to judge and criticize where we find ourselves today.

but the question is not whether we should go in. the question is how are we going to remedy the situation.

essentially, it is what it is.
we are in a place where many have turned away God because of the behavior of His church.
we are in a place where being a Christian is determined by how you vote on abortion and gay rights rather than how you live your life.
we are in a place where being the church has tragically been replaced with going to church.
we are in a place where churches are growing because Christians are unhappy at one church and move to another one.
we are in a place where a critique of Sunday morning becomes the centerpiece of Sunday lunch rather than the lessons learned.

i am tired of my cynical perspective.
i am tired of saying i would have done it differently.
those things do not help the current situation.

i fear that we have spent to much time discussing and debating how we got in, rather than how we will fix it.

it is in our debating and discussing and arguing that we have gone from being in captivity to now holding others captive.

yes, we are far from where we need to be.
good observation.
now, let's do something to get back to where we need to be.


peace.

react

this weekend we hosted a conference called react.

it turned out to be a pretty cool weekend.
we centered the whole weekend around 6 verses: acts 2:42-47.
a bunch of my friends (go orange crew!) helped out and made it a weekend i hope many will never forget.

a good friend of mine, richard durbin, did an amazing job setting up and leading our worship through music as he played with blake moore, chris spinks and others.
josh abernathy, one of my very best friends, also did a lot to lead us in worship while another friend, jared gunter, of canvas church ran the board and created an environment that presented a chance to worship without distraction.

my good friend doug garvin, who is the lead pastor of canvas church, did the teaching for our first main session on friday night and did an incredible job of setting the tone for the weekend. he talked about how great things happen when we find ourselves in awe of God, when we are struck with such great respect and wonder.

saturday morning, one of my best friends, mike thompson did the teaching. he talked about sacrifice. he essentially reminded us, from acts 2:44-45, that community is built through sacrifice. mike did such an amazing job of getting us clued into this idea of sacrifice.

saturday night, we wrapped it all up by talking about communion. we discussed verses 46 and 47 and came to the conclusion that communion, or the eucharist, is more than a monthly thing we do.

it should be a lifestyle.
we should live a life of communion.
of breaking ourselves open and pouring ourselves out for the healing of the world.
we can and should be the answer to the world's prayers.
reacting to the influence of God can happen in many ways, but it must always be centered around that one thing.

we had a really cool experience saturday night. we all walked silently outside and gathered around a long line of tables with bread and a cup on them. the tables were set in the middle of the street. we stood around them and sang and witnessed communion in a new fresh way.

i am interested to hear what those of you who attended thought...more importantly how you were affected and in turn, how you have reacted.
[we are working on the podcast - www.react.mypodcast.com - it is giving us problems.]

i am blown away.
peace.

change

i came across this quote the other day:

"change is the essence of life. be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."

needless to say, it crushed me.
i actually like change. i look forward to it.
when i was younger, i would close myself in my room and rearrange my furniture for no good reason at all.
truth is, that change probably made me feel good.
i always did sleep well that night knowing things would be different when i woke up.

it would be interesting to go back and watch my life to see if that was a response to some innate need for change.
but that is neither here nor there.

but in my fondness for change, i had really never considered its true significance until i read that quote.
i believe that while all change is not necessarily meant for good, it can still be used for good.

change really is the essence of life.
change is a tangible expression of grace.
it is a picture of redemption.
of restoration.
of salvation.

without change, things stay the same. it seems to me that was never the intent. the same only works once...when it was new. when it was the change. even routine works when it is the change from the lack of routine.

i wonder what would happen if we were able to embrace change.
what if we valued it?
not because it is easy or safe.
but because it is hard and risky.

change is coming.
for our young adult community it means gathering on monday nights instead of wednesday nights.
(a change that arouses the question, "well, what are we going to do on wednesday nights, now?")

all i know is that holding on to what we were will never make us what we could be.

peace.

experience

this past week at selah, we did what we call "selahX."
we want to provide an environment to eXperience.
instead of doing church. instead of looking at the backs of each other's heads.

from what i understand it went well. people were impacted. hopefully, lives were changed.

here are a few pictures that blake took.

there are a few changes coming for our ministry.
i will blog about those this week.

weekends...

"i was not sure if i was going to be able to eat today. weekends are tough, everything shuts down."

once a month, we go out to forsyth park, here in savannah to try to intentionally impact some lives.
before you stop reading, i really mean impact lives.

we don't pass out tracts (ask me about that some time) or wear Christian t-shirts, or carry signs around.
we pass out hot dogs and cold water.
you see, we have come to the conclusion that we talk with our mouths entirely way too much. we want to talk with our conduct first. so we pass out food and conversation happens.
don't get me wrong, i am not suggesting that all the world needs is hot dogs and cold water.



"i was not sure if i was going to be able to eat today. weekends are tough, everything shuts down."

i have been studying the concept of sabbath a lot lately. this idea that we can stop doing, stop creating, stop striving and producing....and just be.

i learned something today, though.
i learned that we can bring sabbath to other people...we can bring rest, we can bring a sense that we do not have to keep working and striving.

we can assure them that it is not what they do, or earn, that merits love...it is simply who they are.
they are created in the image of God.

we cooked almost 120 hot dogs and fed a steady line of homeless and needy men and women, today. it was a great day. as we were leaving, a man came back to get some more water and he said:
"i was not sure if i was going to be able to eat today. weekends are tough, everything shuts down."


he ate today.
because of what he has done?
because he earned it?
because we fed him?

or simply because God can provide for us even when we cannot provide for ourselves.
sometimes, he uses us to bring sabbath to others.
even on the weekends...

when everything shuts down.

[my wife took these pictures...she is amazing.]

character

i am learning that we really should never stop learning. there are always new things to know.
new angles to see from.
the hard thing is that learning new things often exposes the fact that we did not know it in the first place. which for some of us, is a tough thing to admit. but the truth is, if we actually knew it beforehand, our lives would be a bit different.

i am learning the importance of character. its not as though i did not already know what character was or what good character looked like, i am just starting to realize the way it manifests itself in a daily, active, tangible sense. i have learned that even though we do the right things...we may not have good character....or integrity.

i can be a critical person. cynical, even.
but i am learning that unless i am being the change i want to see, i have no room to be critical.
there are things i want to change about our world, about our churches.
but i can influence no change there unless i can allow change in my own life, first.

i wish i knew how to communicate what i have learned and how that has impacted my life.
at first, it impacted what i said. i didn't talk about change or look for innovation.
but i am learning that it should inspire me to change my life. not inspire me to keep my mouth shut.

if we are inspired to do something, we need to let it affect our character.
especially as leaders.
our "passions" should come from who we are, not what we do.

some people think they have a "passion" for the homeless...but they wait for the church to start a homeless ministry before they act on it.
some people think they have a "passion" for discipleship...but they wait for someone to offer a class on discipleship before they actually disciple someone.

what are things that you want to see changed in the world?
let that sink into your character.
then you cannot help but to act on it.
but lets stop talking about it....while we do nothing about it.

peace.

sabbath

i am growing more and more convinced that a lot of our struggles are grounded in our lack of ability to accept love.
i am not sure if it is an american thing or not, but we really have a hard time accepting love, and accepting grace.

we talk as though we don't struggle with it, but our actions say otherwise.

maybe we have been hurt too many times.
maybe we can't trust because someone has betrayed that trust.
maybe we have betrayed someone's trust.

we so desperately want to be loved. we want to be accepted. but when it comes down to it, we just can't take it.

you see, we have been trained to earn everything. respect. forgiveness. acceptance. friendship. trust. loyalty. love.
so we work.
for some of us, that means we spend 60+ hours each week at our jobs.
or we spend our days on the computer trying to earn friends.
or we spend our time proving our worth by what we look like and what we wear.

but in the end...it is never enough. we are never satisfied, never filled.
and our response to the emptiness is to try harder.
which only leads to more emptiness.

what if we just stopped?

...

...

...

i think if we all got back to the basic idea of sabbath, all of us would feel the impact.
if we all decided that we could just stop.
stop trying.
stop working.
stop creating.
stop earning.
and just accept.

i think if we all got back to celebrating rest, we would all benefit.
rest teaches us to let go. it teaches us that it is ok to not be in control.
rest teaches us to accept.

the power of sabbath to me is not in church, or not working a job...
to me it is in the strange, daunting practice of accepting that who i am is more important than what i do.

it is in that mindset that i can accept God's ridiculous love for me.

may we all prepare ourselves to rest.
may rest teach us more about ourselves and about our God than any act.

may peace be with you.
peace.