6.17.2008

integrity

when i am older, i want to be the biggest supporter of younger generations.
on some level, when i am older, i want to be cool.
i want to be hip.

but even if i am neither cool nor hip, i still really want to support those who are.
i don't want to think that i have "paid my dues" and so now i get what i want.
i want to pay more dues, for other people.

i want to discipline and train myself now to have a heart for other people. to have a heart for people who think differently than i do. i want to stay outside the box.

i want to be used to encourage all generations to experience true freedom.
freedom that is only found when valuing other people more than ourselves.
but...
i have to live in that freedom, myself, first.

each week, i study...and i am convicted.
i am made painfully aware of my own shortcomings and my own areas where i lack.
and i cannot stand in front of people and teach something i have not yet learned myself.
i want to have more integrity than that.
not because it gets me anything.
not because it makes me feel better about myself.
but because it makes a difference.

i am tired of the dichotomy between what is said and what is done.
i want to live in the freedom of integrity.
at

1 comment:

Andrew B said...

i recently got to hear pastor Hubbard speak on integrity from 1Kings 9, it was amazing.
different things about it stuck to me too, like when he talked about how integrity doesn't require perfection, just pure motives and a right heart.

everytime i study something, i get the same convictions. i feel as if i can't share because i can't master it. then on top of that, Christ gives examples to live out the thing i want to learn more about.
so i quit studying patience ;) (He just about kills me)

and man, quit using words like dichotomy, i have to look things like that up, and still don't fully grasp the meaning

19/6/08 11:20 PM

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